Subject: Real Relationships : Don't you need someone to share with
From: <'Colonel Roy Mustang'>
Date: Thu, December 9, 2004 9:11 am
To: <#Central City>

I resent the fact that this new spam is sending implications that my personal life is incomplete. Hawkeye, please purge the mail system again, until such time as these messages cease.

Fullmetal, I trust you find this morning's assignments reasonable, and I look forward to your reports. I hope your brother found a place to park; his considerable bulk is sometimes hard to accomodate.

Hughes, if you call me one more time with the potty training update, so help me you'll regret it.

That is all.

Col.Mustang

Subject: Re: Real Relationships spam
From: <'First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye'>
Date: Thu, December 9, 2004 9:23 am
To: <'Colonel Roy Mustang'>

I resent the fact that this new spam is sending implications that my personal life is incomplete. Hawkeye, please purge the mail system again, until such time as these messages cease.

Sir. I Have done as you requested, however it might be advised that you take your name off of certain mailing lists in order to prevent such mailings in the future.

Lt. Hawkeye

Subject: Re: parking!
From: <'Fullmetal Alchemist'>
Date: Thu, December 9, 2004 9:30 am
To: <'Colonel Roy Mustang'>

Fullmetal, I trust you find this morning's assignments reasonable, and I look forward to your reports. I hope your brother found a place to park; his considerable bulk is sometimes hard to accomodate.

look at all thsi crap I have! are you trying to kill me? And yeah, I think I scrounged what was the last avaialbe spot, if you squinted and don't look right at it. Oh well, I didn't block the drive, that's what's important. I had to sprint to make it in the office, though, and I was still late. Now I'm jsut late and still coughing. I think my lungs collapsed.

are there any job openings in the alchemial library? *wheeze*

Subject: Re: Real Relationships spam
From: <'Colonel Roy Mustang'>
Date: Thu, December 9, 2004 9:31 am
To: <'First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye'>

Sir. I Have done as you requested, however it might be advised that you take your name off of certain mailing lists in order to prevent such mailings in the future.

Hawkeye,

Surely you don't mean to insinuate that I've used my email in inappropriate forums? I thought that was why you were stationed at my elbow; to keep me in line? ^_~

Col.M.

Subject: Re: parking!
From: <'Colonel Roy Mustang'>
Date: Thu, December 9, 2004 9:34 am
To: <#Haganeno>

look at all thsi crap I have! are you trying to kill me? And yeah, I think I scrounged what was the last avaialbe spot, if you squinted and don't look right at it. Oh well, I didn't block the drive, that's what's important. I had to sprint to make it in the office, though, and I was still late. Now I'm jsut late and still coughing. I think my lungs collapsed.

Good job with parking! The governmental budget thanks you for your consideration.

I am sorry to hear that you were late, Fullmetal, but I must remind you that it was partially your own fault that we were so late in getting out the door. If your legs were longer, you might not have had to run so fast. Though I offer my condolences on your lungs.

are there any job openings in the alchemial library? *wheeze*

I believe there may be a job opening in the alchemical library just this afternoon! I'll put Alphonse's name on the list immediately.

Col.Mustang

Subject: awww, but she's so cute!
From: <'Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes'>
Date: Thu, December 9, 2004 9:40 am
To: <#Roy>

Hughes, if you call me one more time with the potty training update, so help me you'll regret it.

she's just so proud of herself! she says, "Dada, Me made Tink Tink!" It's so adorable, you wouldn't beleive it. I know most parents don't even try potty traing at thsi age, but she's so smart we knew she's take right to it and she did! She's six months ahead of average! Six months! and the words she knows, like "engine" and telephone" and "antidisestablishmentarianism"!

though the last one may have been an entire sentence.

Subject: Re: awww, but she's so cute!
From: <'Colonel Roy Mustang'>
Date: Thu, December 9, 2004 9:48 am
To: <#Maes>

she's just so proud of herself! she says, "Dada, Me made Tink Tink!" It's so adorable, you wouldn't beleive it. I know most parents don't even try potty traing at thsi age, but she's so smart we knew she's take right to it and she did! She's six months ahead of average! Six months! and the words she knows, like "engine" and telephone" and "antidisestablishmentarianism"!

though the last one may have been an entire sentence.

While I don't doubt the brilliance of your child, Lieutenant Colonel, I also don't doubt that you will be six months BEHIND average if you keep up the chatter. Aren't you supposed to be in the library today, researching that project you were given?

No child at that age could manage "antidisestablishmentarianism." You might need your hearing checked, Hughes. Shall I sign you up for a renewed medical... how about today at three? ^_^

Col.Mustang

Subject: Skinny boy needs to talk to a woman
From: <'Colonel Roy Mustang'>
Date: Thu, December 9, 2004 9:58 am
To: <#Central City>

Okay, whoever's sending this, that's not funny. Havoc? I'm looking at you. Farman? You too.

...I am not skinny. I'll have you know I work out!

And everyone knows I talk to pleeenty of women.

** ^_~ **

Just because we were short on quarters and I spent the night with... someone else. Good grief. Some people!

Agitatedly,
Col.Mustang

Subject: Re: Skinny boy needs to talk to a woman
From: <'Second Lieutenant Jean Havoc'>
Date: Thu, December 9, 2004 9:59 am
To: <'Colonel Roy Mustang'>

Just because we were short on quarters and I spent the night with... someone else. Good grief. Some people!

Quarters weren't the only thing you were short on!

or do you usually share showers?

and you talk to plenty of women, yeah, but those services make for big phone bills, you know, sir!

-hvk

Subject: Re: Real Relationships spam
From: <'First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye'>
Date: Thu, December 9, 2004 10:07 am
To: <'Colonel Roy Mustang'>

Surely you don't mean to insinuate that I've used my email in inappropriate forums? I thought that was why you were stationed at my elbow; to keep me in line? ^_~

I do sort the incoming mail, sir. Unless you would like to convince me that "Hot Hoochie Hunnies" got your name, phone number, credit card information, shoe size, and preference for "sweet peaches in pleather" I believe it was-- entirely by mistake.

-Lt. Hawkeye

Subject: Re: parking!
From: <'Fullmetal Alchemist'>
Date: Thu, December 9, 2004 10:10 am
To: <'Colonel Roy Mustang'>

Good job with parking! The governmental budget thanks you for your consideration.

*wheeze*

I am sorry to hear that you were late, Fullmetal, but I must remind you that it was partially your own fault that we were so late in getting out the door. If your legs were longer, you might not have had to run so fast. Though I offer my condolences on your lungs.

WHAT? WHO ARE YOU SAYING IS SO SHORT THAT HE CAN'T SPRINT OVER A SINGLE MALTED MILK BALL? YOU COME OVER HERE AND SAY THAT to MY FACE!

And I believe there may be a job opening in the alchemical library just this afternoon! I'll put Alphonse's name on the list immediately.

....I was thinking about me. *collapse*

-Ed

Subject: Re: awww, but she's so cute!
From: <'Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes'>
Date: Thu, December 9, 2004 10:12 am
To: <#Roy>

While I don't doubt the brilliance of your child, Lieutenant Colonel, I also don't doubt that you will be six months BEHIND average if you keep up the chatter. Aren't you supposed to be in the library today, researching that project you were given?

yeah yeah yeah.

Killjoy. If you'd ever had kids you'd understand.... well, kids you actually KNOW about, anyway.

No child at three years old could manage "antidisestablishmentarianism." You might need your hearing checked, Hughes. Shall I sign you up for a renewed medical... how about today at three? ^_^

Ha ha ha. If I wanted a rubber glove up my ass, Mustang, I'd go downtown.

-Hughes

Subject: Re: Skinny boy needs to talk to a woman
From: <'Colonel Roy Mustang'>
Date: Thu, December 9, 2004 10:24 am
To: <'Second Lieutenant Jean Havoc'>

Quarters weren't the only thing you were short on!

How is it, Havoc, that the whole office seems to know that the room was short on hot water last night? I don't suppose this was a set-up?

or do you usually share showers?

I maintain it was a clever use of limited resources.

and you talk to plenty of women, yeah, but those services make for big phone bills, you know, sir!

Any complaints about the phone bills can be directed to Lieutenant Hawkeye, thank you.

Back to work!

Col.Mustang

Subject: Re: Real Relationships spam
From: <'Colonel Roy Mustang'>
Date: Thu, December 9, 2004 10:29 am
To: <'First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye'>

I do sort the incoming mail, sir. Unless you would like to convince me that "Hot Hoochie Hunnies" got your name, phone number, credit card information, shoe size, and preference for "sweet peaches in pleather" I believe it was-- entirely by mistake.

Lieutenant, your assumptions wound me. Of course that site would know my shoe size; it's published on our website under my profile. (I'm sure there are quite a few choice tidbits on you in your profile, as well. ^_~)

"Sweet peaches" must have been merely an extrapolation.

Col.Mustang

Subject: Re: awww, but she's so cute!
From: <'Colonel Roy Mustang'>
Date: Thu, December 9, 2004 10:34 am
To: <#Maes>

Killjoy. If you'd ever had kids you'd understand.... well, kids you actually KNOW about, anyway.

My record's clean, thank you. Care to investigate my history? But surely no child of mine could possibly be as precocious and perfect as Elysia.

Ha ha ha. If I wanted a rubber glove up my ass, Mustang, I'd go downtown.

It might do you good, Maes. Going downtown, I mean, not the rubber glove. You can only change a diaper so many times a day until the fumes start to affect your mind.

Col.Mustang

Subject: Re: parking!
From: <'Colonel Roy Mustang'>
Date: Thu, December 9, 2004 10:38 am
To: <#Haganeno>

WHAT? WHO ARE YOU SAYING IS SO SHORT THAT HE CAN'T SPRINT OVER A SINGLE MALTED MILK BALL? YOU COME OVER HERE AND SAY THAT to MY FACE!

Malted milk balls! What an excellent idea, Fullmetal. Could you stop by the candyshop on your way back to headquarters?

Also, you should watch your temper. You're going to sprain something, one of these days.

You wouldn't happen to have mentioned anything about last evening around the office, by chance? I find it curious just how many people are aware of what's becoming known as "the shower incident."

Feeling any better?

Col.Mustang

Subject: Re: Skinny boy needs to talk to a woman
From: <'Second Lieutenant Jean Havoc'>
Date: Thu, December 9, 2004 10:43 am
To: <'Colonel Roy Mustang'>

How is it, Havoc, that the whole office seems to know that the room was short on hot water last night? I don't suppose this was a set-up?

set up, sir? Don't rightly know waht you mean. Just that me I've got the room next door, and you don't usually talk to yourself in the shower in two different voices.

I maintain it was a clever use of limited resources.

oh, yeah. real clever. how many resources did you use? ^_^ Sir.

Any complaints about the phone bills can be directed to Lieutenant Hawkeye, thank you.

Lt. Hawkeye is uh, not speakign to me at the moment, sir. Slight misunderstanding about "Perky peaches in pleather"

Back to work!

yeah yeah.

-Havoc

Subject: Re: Skinny boy needs to talk to a woman
From: <'Colonel Roy Mustang'>
Date: Thu, December 9, 2004 10:54 am
To: <'Second Lieutenant Jean Havoc'>

set up, sir? Don't rightly know waht you mean. Just that me I've got the room next door, and you don't usually talk to yourself in the shower in two different voices.

(!!)

...

This still doesn't explain the fact that Lieutenant Hawkeye greeted me this morning with a "Hello, Colonel, I thought surely your tastes didn't run that way," Havoc.

Confidentiality might be an issue, here.

oh, yeah. real clever. how many resources did you use? ^_^ Sir.

The. Hot. Water. Lieutenant. Thank you.

Lt. Hawkeye is uh, not speakign to me at the moment, sir. Slight misunderstanding about "Perky peaches in pleather"

Ha! So she's gotten to you, too. Someone put peaches on the lunch menu, just to see if she'll twitch.

Col.Mustang

Subject: Re: Real Relationships spam
From: <'First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye'>
Date: Thu, December 9, 2004 11:12 am
To: <'Colonel Roy Mustang'>

Lieutenant, your assumptions wound me. Of course that site would know my shoe size; it's published on our website under my profile. (I'm sure there are quite a few choice tidbits on you in your profile, as well. ^_~)

My profile, sir, has my test scores, my resume, and my contact information. It has nothing about "liking my cupcakes with frosting", whatever that means, and no thank you, I don't want to know.

"Sweet peaches" must have been merely an extrapolation.

An extrapolation, I might add, in your handwriting. I would know those mushy "e"s anywhere.

Sir.

-Hawkeye

Subject: Re: awww, but she's so cute!
From: <'Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes'>
Date: Thu, December 9, 2004 11:15 am
To: <#Roy>

My record's clean, thank you. Care to investigate my history? But surely no child of mine could possibly be as precocious and perfect as Elysia.

I already know your history. and about the pleather peaches incident, I DO have access to all the good records, you know.

and, no kid of yours would be as perfect as Elysia. But you would think otherwise. Its a chronic parental disorder.

It might do you good, Hughes. Going downtown, I mean, not the rubber glove. You can only change a diaper so many times a day until the fumes start to affect your mind.

But I don't NEED to change diapers, I just told you she's finished her potty training-- or did you forget? I can go over it again.

Not that a neat scotch doesn't sound good.

-Hughes

Subject: Re: parking!
From: <'Fullmetal Alchemist'>
Date: Thu, December 9, 2004 11:18 am
To: <'Colonel Roy Mustang'>

Malted milk balls! What an excellent idea, Fullmetal. Could you stop by the candyshop on your way back to headquarters?

Do I look like your errand boy? Besides, aren't we supposed to be meeting downtown? you can get your own milk balls.

....although from what Havoc tells me, maybe gummi peaches might be better?

Also, you should watch your temper. You're going to sprain something, one of these days.

yeah. Something of *yours*.

You wouldn't happen to have mentioned anything about last evening around the office, by chance? I find it curious just how many people are aware of what's becoming known as "the shower incident."

Do I LOOK like an idiot? why the hell would I go aroudn saying anything about that? I get enough flack for everything else.

Feeling any better?

Yeah, thanks. I just don't need to move for a week.

-FM

Subject: Re: Skinny boy needs to talk to a woman
From: <'Second Lieutenant Jean Havoc'>
Date: Thu, December 9, 2004 11:30 am
To: <'Colonel Roy Mustang'>

This still doesn't explain the fact that Lieutenant Hawkeye greeted me this morning with a "Hello, Colonel, I thought surely your tastes didn't run that way," Havoc.

Confidentiality might be an issue, here.

er, well, actually, She ah.. she was there, at the moment, Sir. She had some questions about the report I'd filed earlier, and she was out of uniform, so ah.. I made a little harmless comment, you know, a compliment, really, and well, she left in a little hurry, you know.

But that's probably how she knew, Really I haven't told anybody. Much.

The. Hot. Water. Lieutenant. Thank you.

was it... hot? ^_^

Ha! So she's gotten to you, too. Someone put peaches on the lunch menu, just to see if she'll twitch.

I'll go right down and tell the cook, sir. I bet she gets that little tic under her left eye.

-havoc

Subject: Re: Real Relationships spam
From: <'Colonel Roy Mustang'>
Date: Thu, December 9, 2004 11:31 am
To: <'First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye'>

My profile, sir, has my test scores, my resume, and my contact information. It has nothing about "liking my cupcakes with frosting", whatever that means, and no thank you, I don't want to know.

...I'm sure Havoc would delight in telling you what it meant.

And yes of course, Lieutenant, I realize your profile is spotless. Far be it from /me/ to cast slander on someone.

An extrapolation, I might add, in your handwriting. I would know those mushy "e"s anywhere.

My handwriting could be imitated! Remember that secretary in Central City who could do a perfect version of my signature? Mmm.

Sir.

I'm detecting insubordination, Lieutenant. ^_^

Damn, I need lunch. I'm tired of you people today.

Col.Mustang

Subject: Re: Skinny boy needs to talk to a woman
From: <'Colonel Roy Mustang'>
Date: Thu, December 9, 2004 11:35 am
To: <'Second Lieutenant Jean Havoc'>

er, well, actually, She ah.. she was there, at the moment, Sir. She had some questions about the report I'd filed earlier, and she was out of uniform, so ah.. I made a little harmless comment, you know, a compliment, really, and well, she left in a little hurry, you know.

...Just how out of uniform are we talking, here? Seems your evening might have been even more interesting than mine. ^_~

But I fail to see how you paying her a compliment helped her to hear the very faint noises of harmless conversation that might possibly have been happening all the way in the back room of my quarters.

But that's probably how she knew, Really I haven't told anybody. Much.

Ah-hah. Naturally. Thank you for your discretion, Havoc. As ever.

was it... hot? ^_^

What is with you people?!?!

No it was NOT hot, Lieutenant, it was really rather frigid, and as such I got it over with as quickly as possible. And there was certainly no sudsing of hair or washings of backs so you can just wipe that idea out of your mind.

I'll go right down and tell the cook, sir. I bet she gets that little tic under her left eye.

That's a good man! Always on the ball.

Col.Mustang

Subject: Re: awww, but she's so cute!
From: <'Colonel Roy Mustang'>
Date: Thu, December 9, 2004 11:39 am
To: <#Maes>

I already know your history. and about the pleather peaches incident, I DO have access to all the good records, you know.

The peaches are already on the record? But that was just--! Never mind, Lieutenant Colonel, suffice it to say you should keep up the good work. Though just /why/ I am ever the brunt of governmental scrutiny continues to elude me.

and, no kid of yours would be as perfect as Elysia. But you would think otherwise. Its a chronic parental disorder.

Dementia, you mean.

But I don't NEED to change diapers, I just told you she's finished her potty training-- or did you forget? I can go over it again.

No! Nonono. I just meant, the diapers you already /changed/, Maes.

Not that a neat scotch doesn't sound good.

Want to meet me downtown for lunch? I'm meeting Fullmetal this evening for dinner, but my lunch hour is free.

Col.Mustang

Subject: Re: parking!
From: <'Colonel Roy Mustang'>
Date: Thu, December 9, 2004 11:48 am
To: <#Haganeno>

Do I look like your errand boy? Besides, aren't we supposed to be meeting downtown? you can get your own milk balls.

Ah, right, thank you for reminding me, Fullmetal. Seems Lieutenant Hawkeye failed to pencil that in on my calendar. Downtown, then, 6:15 sharp, don't be late.

....although from what Havoc tells me, maybe gummi peaches might be better?

...The alacrity with which information moves through this office never ceases to amaze me. Yes, Fullmetal, gummi peaches really toast my bacon. Thanks for noticing. Seen any?

yeah. Something of *yours*.

I'd like to see you try, Hagane no Chibi.

Do I LOOK like an idiot? why the hell would I go aroudn saying anything about that? I get enough flack for everything else.

The source of the leak has been located, and I apologize for implicating you. I just hope they're giving you as hard a time as they're giving me.

Yeah, thanks. I just don't need to move for a week.

Good, your next assignment starts a week from today. Plenty of time for recuperation.

How is the work coming?

Col.Mustang

Subject: Re: Real Relationships spam
From: <'First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye'>
Date: Thu, December 9, 2004 11:58 am
To: <'Colonel Roy Mustang'>

....I'm sure Havoc would delight in telling you what it meant.

the very reason I don't want to ask.

And yes of course, Lieutenant, I realize your profile is spotless. Far be it from /me/ to cast slander on someone.

h'm. Point taken, sir. I shall drop the subject.

My handwriting could be imitated! Remember that secretary in Central City who could do a perfect version of my signature? Mmm.

Clarice? June 3 to 17th, wasn't she? Of last year?

I'm detecting insubordination, Lieutenant. ^_^

In the future I will keep my insuborination below dectection.

Damn, I need lunch. I'm tired of you people today.

Fair enough, the cafeteria menu for today just came. Not that it's ever really edible, but today we're having--

....sir! Permission to kill Havoc?

Subject: Re: Real Relationships spam
From: <'Colonel Roy Mustang'>
Date: Thu, December 9, 2004 12:11 pm
To: <'First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye'>

the very reason I don't want to ask.

Good point, Lieutenant, staying out of the line of fire until absolutely necessary. The better part of valor being discretion, and all of that.

Clarice? June 3 to 17th, wasn't she? Of last year?

Such a memory you have, Hawkeye! I am reminded of why you've been so invaluable. As for me, I just remember her-- well, yes, ah, her hairstyle was unique, wasn't it?

In the future I will keep my insuborination below dectection.

Very good.

Fair enough, the cafeteria menu for today just came. Not that i's ever really edible, but today we're having--

....sir! Permission to kill Havoc?

Permission denied, Lieutenant, he's a valuable member of the military.

...Might I ask what could be so volatile about a lunch menu that it prompts your ire?

Col.Mustang

^_^

Subject: Re: Skinny boy needs to talk to a woman
From: <'Second Lieutenant Jean Havoc'>
Date: Thu, December 9, 2004 12:12 pm
To: <'Colonel Roy Mustang'>

....Just how out of uniform are we talking, here? Seems your evening might have been even more interesting than mine. ^_~

Not that interesting, sir, she just had her uniform jacket off.

But I fail to see how you paying her a compliment helped her to hear the very faint noises of harmless conversation that might possibly have been happening all the way in the back room of my quarters.

The stethoscope was not my suggestion.

Ah-hah. Naturally. Thank you for your discretion, Havoc. As ever.

I do my best to uphold the morale of the corps, sir.

What is with you people?!?!

We don't have lives of our own.

No it was NOT hot, Lieutenant, it was really rather frigid, and as such I got it over with as quickly as possible. And there was certainly no sudsing of hair or washings of backs so you can just wipe that idea out of your mind.

all right, all right, If you say so, that's good enough for me.

Besides, Full Metal Bean's got pretty long hair, doesn't he? must be a pain to do all the time. I wouldn't have the patience.

That's a good man! Always on the ball.

Sir! It's a dirty job, but someone has to do it.

Havoc

Subject: update
From: <'Colonel Roy Mustang'>
Date: Thu, December 9, 2004 12:13 pm
To: <#Central City>

Memo to all:

Am off to lunch in town, thinking today's cafeteria food not to my liking.

Kindly do not flood my inbox while I am gone? (As if I could stop you.)

Shall be back in an hour, promptly.

That is all.

Col.Mustang

Subject: Re: awww, but she's so cute!
From: <'Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes'>
Date: Thu, December 9, 2004 12:14 pm
To: <#Roy>

The peaches are already on the record? But that was just--! Never mind, Lieutenant Colonel, suffice it to say you should keep up the good work. Though just /why/ I am ever the brunt of governmental scrutiny continues to elude me.

tuseday before last. The information department is pretty damn quick, you know. And obviously, you're under the eyeball because you're an abitious, hard working officer with secret goals--- either that or you get better porn than the rest of us.

Dementia, you mean.

and happy!

No! Nonono. I just meant, the diapers you already /changed/, Maes.

oh, oh oh. Right.

Want to meet me downtown for lunch? I'm meeting Fullmetal this evening for dinner, but my lunch hour is free.

Sounds like you already took off without me, but that's okay, I'll jsut go down to the cafeteria. Is there some special occasion? Looks like we're having peach melbas, Peach pie, steak with spiced peach sauce, poached peaches, and peaches and cream.

-hughes

Subject: Re: update
From: <'Second Lieutenant Jean Havoc'>
Date: Thu, December 9, 2004 12:15 pm
To: <#Colonel Peaches Mustang>

Am off to lunch in town, thinking today's cafeteria food not to my liking.

What, you don't like peaches? ^_^

-Havoc

Subject: Re: update
From: <'First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye'>
Date: Thu, December 9, 2004 12:15 pm
To: <'Colonel Roy Mustang'>

Kindly do not flood my inbox while I am gone? (As if I could stop you.)

I am certaily not responsible for any previous flooding of your inbox. unlike SOME people, I know the difference between reply and reply all.

-Hawkeye

Subject: Re: update
From: <'Fullmetal Alchemist'>
Date: Thu, December 9, 2004 12:15 pm
To: <'Colonel Roy Mustang'>

Am off to lunch in town, thinking today's cafeteria food not to my liking.

Eating out twice in one day? You must be gettign paid a hell of a lot more than me.

-FM

Subject: Re: update
From: <'Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes'>
Date: Thu, December 9, 2004 12:17 pm
To: <#Roy>

Am off to lunch in town, thinking today's cafeteria food not to my liking.

Hey you should go down to Vizinetti's on third. We went there for Elysia's one month potty-training anniversary, and the owner himself said he had never seen a cuter little girl! And she was such a little lady, too! Eating her meatballs with a knife and fork and jsut the best table manners I've ever seen in a two year old!

Hey, my wife wants to know when you're goign to take us up on that offer of coming over for dinner! she's not the kind of woman to keep waiting.

-Hughes

Subject: Re: parking!
From: <'Fullmetal Alchemist'>
Date: Thu, December 9, 2004 1:08 pm
To: <'Colonel Roy Mustang'>

Ah, right, thank you for reminding me, Fullmetal. Seems Lieutenant Hawkeye failed to pencil that in on my calendar. Downtown, then, 6:15 sharp, don't be late.

....FIVE fifteen. Sheesh.

Glad I'm not the only one who does it.

anyway. Are we on to meet down here? Are we meeting by the weapons shop as usual?

....The alacrity with which information moves through this office never ceases to amaze me.

We work hard, Colonel.

Yes, Fullmetal, gummi peaches really toast my bacon. Thanks for noticing. Seen any?

Besides the set that Lt Hawkeye has built in? Nope. Though you might ask the cook, It's natioal peach appreciation day or something down there. Good thing al did me a packed lunch.

....toast your bacon?

I'd like to see you try, Hagane no Chibi.

Maybe I won't. Maybe I'll jsut let it causally slip to Havoc about your hair-washing expertise.

The source of the leak has been located, and I apologize for implicating you. I just hope they're giving you as hard a time as they're giving me.

Actually no. though Lt. Hawkeye wanted to know about--- Oh right, that conversation was Classified.

Good, your next assignment starts a week from today. Plenty of time for recuperation.

where are you sending me now? some desolate backwater need its goats examined?

How is the work coming?

It's be comign a lot better if I could just blow it up.

FM

Subject: Re: Real Relationships spam
From: <'First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye'>
Date: Thu, December 9, 2004 1:14 pm
To: <'Colonel Roy Mustang'>

Good point, Lieutenant, staying out of the line of fire until absolutely necessary. The better part of valor being discretion, and all of that.

Naturally, sir. My cowardaice is what prompted me to volunteer as your assistant after the first seventeen officers resigned within one week of their hire.

Such a memory you have, Hawkeye! I am reminded of why you've been so invaluable. As for me, I just remember her-- well, yes, ah, her hairstyle was unique, wasn't it?

I'm surprised you remember her at all. And yes, she wore it up in dippy little twiddles. Entirely against regulation.

Permission denied, Lieutenant, he's a valuable member of the military.

Yes, good cannon fodder is hard to come by.

....Might I ask what could be so volatile about a lunch menu that it prompts your ire?

.....Nothing, Sir. But fortunately I have just this morning joined a religious sect that does not allow me to eat any food, ever, so I will have to decline lunch for today.

Col.Mustang
^_^

-Hawkeye

PS: You're smirking, Sir.

Subject: Re: update
From: <'Colonel Roy Mustang'>
Date: Thu, December 9, 2004 1:42 pm
To: <#Second Lieutenant Peaches Havoc>

What, you don't like peaches? ^_^

...Not to excess, Havoc. I find just a small, carefully chosen /handful/ of peaches to be ideal.

Though your lunch menu was genius-- work well done, Lieutenant. I could hear the eyebrow twitch from here.

Col.Mustang

Subject: Re: Skinny boy needs to talk to a woman
From: <'Colonel Roy Mustang'>
Date: Thu, December 9, 2004 1:45 pm
To: <#Second Lieutenant Peaches Havoc>

Not that interesting, sir, she just had her uniform jacket off.

Well, nothing to write home about, then. Be sure to keep me informed.

The stethoscope was not my suggestion.

Wait a minute, stethoscope? Exactly /what/ were you to up to? ...What did you hear?

I do my best to uphold the morale of the corps, sir.

I'm sure you do; that's what I'm afraid of.

We don't have lives of our own.

Apparently!

all right, all right, If you say so, that's good enough for me.

Wise decision, Lieutenant.

Besides, Full Metal Bean's got pretty long hair, doesn't he? must be a pain to do all the time. I wouldn't have the patience.

I certainly wouldn't want to wash it everyday, much too high-maintenance.

Sir! It's a dirty job, but someone has to do it.

Just be sure to stay out of her reach this afternoon; she seems pretty testy.

Col.Mustang

Subject: Re: awww, but she's so cute!
From: <'Colonel Roy Mustang'>
Date: Thu, December 9, 2004 1:47 pm
To: <#Maes>

tuseday before last. The information department is pretty damn quick, you know. And obviously, you're under the eyeball because you're an abitious, hard working officer with secret goals--- either that or you get better porn than the rest of us.

Secret goals? ^_^

Whatever you do, avoid Hot Hoochie Hunnies-- their site isn't secure, informational leaks abounding. V. embarrassing.

Sounds like you already took off without me, but that's okay, I'll jsut go down to the cafeteria. Is there some special occasion? Looks like we're having peach melbas, Peach pie, steak with spiced peach sauce, poached peaches, and peaches and cream.

Ahaha! Havoc is a /genius/. You should make a note of that.

Sorry to skip out on you this afternoon, needed a bit of time to myself. Was lunch good? Or is everyone all peached out?

Col.Mustang

Subject: Re: parking!
From: <'Colonel Roy Mustang'>
Date: Thu, December 9, 2004 1:55 pm
To: <#Haganeno>

....FIVE fifteen. Sheesh.

Thank you, Fullmetal, somehow I'd mistyped. ~_~

Glad I'm not the only one who does it.

What, commit typographical errors while trying to answer the four hundred messages that one's subordinates have seen fit to toss into one's mailbox? Honestly, I'm surprised there's any work getting done here at all!

anyway. Are we on to meet down here? Are we meeting by the weapons shop as usual?

Yes, yes, still. By the weapons shop, as per usual. Don't be late, Fullmetal, it's raining and I don't want to stand around in it.

We work hard, Colonel.

As do I.

Besides the set that Lt Hawkeye has built in? Nope. Though you might ask the cook, It's natioal peach appreciation day or something down there. Good thing all did me a packed lunch.

Yes, I think a packed lunch might have been in order. Seems the Führer has declared National Peach Appreciation Day today, as you said.

....toast your bacon?

It was the first charming colloquial phrase that came to hand. You have another pleasant euphemism in mind?

Maybe I won't. Maybe I'll jsut let it causally slip to Havoc about your hair-washing expertise.

You don't know Havoc. You do that, Fullmetal, and you might have more on your hands than you're prepared to deal with.

...And I won't wash it again.

Actually no. though Lt. Hawkeye wanted to know about--- Oh right, that conversation was Classified.

What? What was Hawkeye asking you about? I'm as high a clearance as it gets, nothing's classified from me.

where are you sending me now? some desolate backwater need its goats examined?

What a good idea. I hadn't considered shipping you out to Goatville. I'll get Hawkeye to draft a memo on it.

It's be comign a lot better if I could just blow it up.

I understand the feeling, Haganeno. But these are the tribulations we must suffer, here in the military. There will come a time for properly solicited explosions.

Col.Mustang

Subject: Re: Real Relationships spam
From: <'Colonel Roy Mustang'>
Date: Thu, December 9, 2004 2:00 pm
To: <'First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye'>

Goatville.

No, wait, never mind.

Naturally, sir. My cowardaice is what prompted me to volunteer as your assistant afterthe first seventeen officers resigned within one week of their hire.

Discretion, not cowardice, Lieutenant.

Wait, was it that bad? Am I so difficult to work with?

I'm surprised you remeber her at all. And yes, she wore it up in dippy little twiddles. Entirely agaisnt regulation.

As was the height of her hemline, which was unfortunate. As I found it quite fetching. Do you think they'd go for it if I suggested a regulation uniform change?

Yes, good cannon fodder is hard to come by.

Precisely. ^_^

.....Nothing, Sir. But fortunately I have jsut this morning joined a religious sect that does not allow me to eat any food, ever, so I will have to decline lunch for today.

Don't do that, Hawkeye, it's not healthy. Peaches need more than just sunlight and water, don't they? ^_^ And cultism is just not scientific. Maybe the younger Elric could pack you a bag lunch?

Col.Mustang

PS: you're smirking, Sir.

Thank you, Hawkeye, I'll keep that in mind.

Subject: Re: update
From: <'Colonel Roy Mustang'>
Date: Thu, December 9, 2004 2:04 pm
To: <'First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye'>

I am certaily not responsible for any previous flooding of your inbox. unlike SOME people, I know the difference between reply and reply all.

If I didn't suspect you all were in cahoots anyway, I might say there's really no difference between the two, Hawkeye.

But thank you for your expertise.

Col.M.

Subject: Re: update
From: <'Colonel Roy Mustang'>
Date: Thu, December 9, 2004 2:05 pm
To: <#Haganeno>

Eating out twice in one day? You must be gettign paid a hell of a lot more than me.

You can't fool me, Fullmetal, I know Alphonse swiped some of the cinnamon popcorn for you. I don't believe you're suffering any.

Col.M.

Subject: Re: update
From: <'Colonel Roy Mustang'>
Date: Thu, December 9, 2004 2:11 pm
To: <#Maes>

Hey you should go down to Vizinetti's on third. We went there for Elycia's one month potty-training anniversary, and the owner himself said he had never seen a cuter little girl! And she was such a little lady, too! Eating her meatballs with a knife and fork and jsut the best table manners I've ever seen in a two year old!

That's because they're the /only/ table manners you've seen in a two-year-old. How many children do you spend time with on a regular basis, Maes, honestly?

Hey, my wife wants to know when you're goign to take us up on that offer of coming over for dinner! she's not the kind of woman to keep waiting.

My answer hasn't changed, Lieutenant Colonel. At such time as you can prove that you won't spend all evening talking about the various colors of your daughter's bowel movements, I will be happy to join you and Gracia for dinner. Though I rather suspect she'd be better conversation than you. ^_~

What's on the menu?

Col.Mustang

Subject: Re: Skinny boy needs to talk to a woman
From: <'Second Lieutenant Jean Havoc'>
Date: Thu, December 9, 2004 2:44 pm
To: <#Colonel Peaches Mustang>

Well, nothing to write home about, then. Be sure to keep me informed.

Yes sir, I'm on it.

Wait a minute, stethoscope? Exactly /what/ were you to up to? ...What did you hear?

Did I say stehtoscope? I meant uh.. heliotrope. we were discussing perfumes.

(It's okay, sir. I won't say a word. about the moaning, I mean.)

I'm sure you do; that's what I'm afraid of.

someone's got to, sir. It's okay, I'm up for it.

I certainly wouldn't want to wash it everyday, much too high-maintenance.

hmm. and to do it one armed, too! muast be hard.

Just be sure to stay out of her reach this afternoon; she seems pretty testy.

She's always like that.

Havoc

Subject: Re: awww, but she's so cute!
From: <'Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes'>
Date: Thu, December 9, 2004 2:56 pm
To: <#Roy>

Secret goals? ^_^

you know. Miniskirts.

Whatever you do, avoid Hot Hoochie Hunnies-- their site isn't secure, informational leaks abounding. V. embarrassing.

right. I'll bear that in mind.

Ahaha! Havoc is a /genius/. You should make a note of that.

right. peaches for lunch makes Havoc a genius? ....I've been left out of the loop again, haven't I.

Sorry to skip out on you this afternoon, needed a bit of time to myself. Was lunch good? Or is everyone all peached out?

Well, I think for once we might be peachy keen. Except for Hawkeye, what's got her dander up?

Hughes

Subject: Re: parking!
From: <'Fullmetal Alchemist'>
Date: Thu, December 9, 2004 3:13 pm
To: <'Colonel Roy Mustang'>

Thank you, Fullmetal, somehow I'd forgotten. ~_~

happens to the best of us.

What, commit typographical errors while trying to answer the four hundred messages that one's subordinates have seen fit to toss into one's mailbox?

the other guys have been mailign you too? No kidding? what about?

Honestly, I'm surprised there's any work getting done here at all!

I'm sure there's some gettign done. Somewhere.

Yes, yes, still. By the weapons shop, as per usual. Don't be late, Fullmetall, it's raining and I don't want to stand around in it.

I'm not gonna be late, don't YOU be late.

Looking forward to it, though. ^_^ good food!

As do I.

Yeah, i know. You've got to work up that sarcasm somehow.

Yes, I think a packed lunch might have been in order. Seems the Führer has declared National Peach Appreciation Day today, as you said.

I appreciate peaches just as much as the next man.

It was the first charming colloquial phrase that came to hand. You have another pleasant euphemism in mind?

No, no, that's fine. Jsut wonderign about your breakfast meat prperation prefercnes.

Man I can't type with this automail. Not made for it.

You don't know Havoc. You do that, Fullmetal, and you might have more on your hands than you're prepared to deal with.

I can hadle a little havoc. Can't you? =D

....And I won't wash it again.

.....fine, I won't spill.

What? What was Hawkeye asking you about? I'm as high a clearance as it gets, nothing's classified from me.

I think Hawkeye might have a few things, sir, that are her own classified department. It's amazing what a ncie young lady will confide to an innocent face, especially if One isn't exactly a huge hulking guy.

....take back the full metal chibi remark, and maybe I'll tell you.

What a good idea. I hadn't considered shipping you out to Goatville. I'll get Hawkeye to draft a memo on it.

goatville!

ther's no such place.

....is there?

I understand the feeling, Haganeno. But these are the tribulations we must suffer, here in the military. There will come a time for properly solicited explosions.

how about three o' clock?

FM

Subject: Re: Real Relationships spam
From: <'First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye'>
Date: Thu, December 9, 2004 3:26 pm
To: <'Colonel Roy Mustang'>

Goatville.

No, wait, never mind.

...Sir?

Discretion, not cowardice, Lieutenant.

They are much the same.

Wait, was it that bad? Am I so difficult to work with?

you do have certain ...quirks, sir.

As was the height of her hemline, which was unfortunate. As I found it quite fetching. Do you think they'd go for it if I suggested a regulation uniform change?

.....I somehow doubt it. In fact I doubt the message would reach HQ at all. you know how unreliable communications can be these days.

Don't do that, Hawkeye, it's not healthy. Peaches need more than just sunlight and water, don't they? ^_^

My peaches are perfectly fine. Sir.

And cultism is just not scientific. Maybe the younger Elric could pack you a bag lunch?

I agree. Since I suspect that the perfect man is in fact ten years old and incorporeal.

-Lt. Hawkeye

Subject: Re: Skinny boy needs to talk to a woman
From: <'Colonel Roy Mustang'>
Date: Thu, December 9, 2004 3:27 pm
To: <#Second Lieutenant Peaches Havoc>

Yes sir, I'm on it.

I know you are. Good man, Havoc. ^_^

Ded I say stehtoscope? I meant uh.. heliotrope. we were discussing perfumes.

Hawkeye doesn't /wear/ perfume, you know. Your bluff is slipping.

(It's okay, sir. I won't say a word. about the moaning, I mean.)

...I believe, Lieutenant, that you had the stethoscope against the wrong wall. Aren't there quarters adjacent to you on the other side? There was no moaning to be overheard. Merely soap, and then, sleep. Unless the pipes were groaning with the sudden lack of warm water? Or your stomach was growling, for lack of dinner?

someone's got to, sir. It's okay, I'm up for it.

Semper paramus; always prepared. That's your motto.

hmm. and to do it one armed, too! muast be hard.

Actually his automail is quite resilient in water, so long as it isn't submerged, and he cleans it thoroughly with oil lubricant afterwards.

...Mechanically speaking, of course. There are no implications of anything risque to be misinterpreted, there.

She's always like that.

Good point. I'll duck and cover. Maybe you should take her out to dinner, to make up for lunch. ^_~

Col.Mustang

Subject: Re: awww, but she's so cute!
From: <'Colonel Roy Mustang'>
Date: Thu, December 9, 2004 3:30 pm
To: <#Maes>

you know. Miniskirts.

Operation Miniskirt is still underway! At any cost. Pleather, you think?

right. peaches for lunch makes Havoc a genius? ....I've been left out of the loop again, haven't I.

Well, not for long. I expect one solid afternoon of information-gathering will catch you up to speed. Talk to Havoc, if you like, codeword "perky."

Well sir, I think for once we might be peachy keen. Except for Hawkeye, what's got her dander up?

Something about joining a cult and not eating fresh produce, I expect.

Col.Mustang

Subject: Re: parking!
From: <'Colonel Roy Mustang'>
Date: Thu, December 9, 2004 3:38 pm
To: <#Haganeno>

the other guys have been mailign you too? No kidding? what about?

Important things. Communiques from Central City, orders from the Führer, things like that.

I'm sure there's some gettign done. Somewhere.

And I'm guessing not anywhere near you?

I'm not gonna be late, don't YOU be late.

Count on it, Fullmetal.

Looking forward to it, though. ^_^ good food!

I am too, I admit.

Yeah, i know. You've got to work up that sarcasm somehow.

It's quite a bit of effort to maintain, you know. Takes polishing.

I appreciate peaches just as much as the next man.

You'd need a ladder, Fullmetal. ^_~

No, no, that's fine. Jsut wonderign about your breakfast meat prperation prefercnes.

I prefer my sausages crisp on the outside and juicy and maple-sweet on the inside, with just a hint of charring at the edges. ^_^

Man I can't type with this automail. Not made for it.

I'm quite impressed you're as versatile as you are.

I can hadle a little havoc. Can't you? =D

Naturally. I am his superior office after all... and this office seems to invite havoc in general.

.....fine, I won't spill.

Good decision.

I think Hawkeye might have a few things, sir, that are her own classified department. It's amazing what a ncie young lady will confide to an innocent face, especially if One isn't exactly a huge hulking guy.

Who are you calling hulking? I'm quite curious as to how deep a hole you'll dig for yourself, here. Don't let Hawkeye manipulate you, she's sharper than she looks-- well, she looks sharp, too. But you know what I mean.

....take back the full metal chibi remark, and maybe I'll tell you.

That's bribery and extortion, I'll do no such thing. I'll just have to ask Hawkeye herself, if you refuse to talk. ^_~

goatville!

ther's no such place.

....is there?

No, not that I'm aware of. Not yet, anyway.

how about three o' clock?

It being nearly three-thirty, and myself not having heard any thunderous sounds from your location, can I assume that we've avoided armageddon for now?

Col.Mustang

Subject: Re: Real Relationships spam
From: <'Colonel Roy Mustang'>
Date: Thu, December 9, 2004 3:42 pm
To: <'First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye'>

...Sir?

I apologize; I was distracted.

> Discretion, not cowardice, Lieutenant.
They are much the same.

Main Entry: dis·cre·tion
Pronunciation: dis-'kre-sh&n
Function: noun
1 : the quality of being discreet : CIRCUMSPECTION; especially : cautious reserve in speech
2 : ability to make responsible decisions
3 a : individual choice or judgment
b : power of free decision or latitude of choice within certain legal bounds
4 : the result of separating or distinguishing

And how is the ability to make responsible decisions an act of cowardice?

you do have certain ...quirks, sir.

Thank you, Hawkeye. I'd like you to submit a memo to me listing them in detail, so that I may review and rebut.

.....I somehow doubt it. In fact I doubt the message would reach HQ at all. you know how unreliable communications can be these days.

A-ha. Yes, I can imagine. Why precisely is my shredder on your desk, Lieutenant?

My peaches are perfectly fine. Sir.

Yes, of course they are. ^_^ See, via mail, you can't hit me.

I agree. Since I suspect that the perfect man is in fact ten years old and incorpreal.

Come now. What does that ten-foot tall metal monstrosity have over me? Even if he is rather polite and unexpectedly genteel.

Col.Mustang

Subject: Re: Skinny boy needs to talk to a woman
From: <'Second Lieutenant Jean Havoc'>
Date: Thu, December 9, 2004 4:22 pm
To: <#Colonel Peaches Mustang>

I know you are. Good man, Havoc. ^_^

boy have I ever done jack shit tod... sorry, thought I was writing to Hughes. nevermind. hard at work, sir!

Hawkeye doesn't /wear/ perfume, you know. Your bluff is slipping.

Of course she doesn't. and we were discussing why she didn't NEED to, with those peaches.

....I believe, Lieutenant, that you had the stethoscope against the wrong wall. Aren't there quarters adjacent to you on the other side? There was no moaning to be overheard. Merely soap, and then, sleep. Unless the pipes were groaning with the sudden lack of warm water? Or your stomach was growling, for lack of dinner?

Sorry, sir. My Room's the last one on the end. And pipes don't tend to say "nnngod that feels good," even when they are out of hot water. Unless ofcourse you were doign something innocentish, like washing his hair or scrubbing his back... but then, you said you hadn't.

Semper paramus; always prepared. That's your motto.

sir!

Actually his automail is quite resilient in water, so long as it isn't submerged, and he cleans it thoroughly with oil lubricant afterwards.

really? hmm.

....Mechanically speaking, of course. There are no implications of anything risque to be misinterpreted, there.

I wouldn't dream of interpreting, sir. I'm totally against it.

Good point. I'll duck and cover. Maybe you should take her out to dinner, to make up for lunch. ^_~

yeah, somewhere with no fruit on the menu.

--Havoc

Subject: Re: Skinny boy needs to talk to a woman
From: <'Colonel Roy Mustang'>
Date: Thu, December 9, 2004 4:40 pm
To: <#Second Lieutenant Peaches Havoc>

boy have I ever done jack shit tod... sorry, thought I was writing to Hughes. nevermind. hard at work, sir!

Yes, quite. It's all right, you're off the hook for your brilliant execution of Plan Peach.

Of course she doesn't. and we were discussing why she didn't NEED to, with those peaches.

You have the most unlikely conversations, Lieutenant. It's no wonder Hawkeye stomped off.

Sorry, sir. My Room's the last one on the end. And pipes don't tend to say "nnngod that feels good," even when they are out of hot water. Unless ofcourse you were doign something innocentish, like washing his hair or scrubbing his back... but then, you said you hadn't.

Dammitall Havoc, you'll have the story out of me in spite of my best efforts.

After the rest of you lot taking long boiling hot soaks, I knew there were only about fifteen minutes of hot water left. Naturally, I didn't want Fullmetal to steal it /all/, nor did I want to be ungracious as host and not let him have /any/. So we compromised and shared the space, the shower's more than big enough for two. Well, mostly.

And so I scrubbed his back, so what? And his hair. But just the once. That's all.

I wouldn't dream of interpreting, sir. I'm totally agaisnt it.

You do that, Officer. ~_~

Col.Mustang

Subject: Re: awww, but she's so cute!
From: <'Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes'>
Date: Thu, December 9, 2004 4:51 pm
To: <#Roy>

Operation Miniskirt is still underway! At any cost. Pleather, you think?

there's a lot to be said for pleats in a nice blue plaid.

Well, not for long. I expect one solid afternoon of information-gathering will catch you up to speed. Talk to Havoc, if you like, codeword "perky."

Got it. No information is too classified, no peaches too fuzzy for me.

Something about joining a cult and not eating fresh produce, I expect.

Huh! modern women! who can figure them out?

-Hughes

Subject: Re: parking!
From: <'Fullmetal Alchemist'>
Date: Thu, December 9, 2004 5:00 pm
To: <'Colonel Roy Mustang'>

Important things. Communiques from Central City, orders from the Fuhrer, things like that.

what's this I hear about operation "perky"?

And I'm guessing not anywhere near you?

sort of near me, yeah.

Count on it, Fullmetal.

good. If it is pouring, I'll be in the shop next to the weapons shop, the one with all the jewelty and automail and glass lanterns. You can find me there.

I am too, I admit.

*stomach growls*

It's quite a bit of effort to maintain, you know. Takes polishing.

sarcasm polishing.. you should do a seminar.

You'd need a ladder, Fullmetal. ^_~

Fine, I won't tell you what she asked about you.

I prefer my sausages crisp on the outside and juicy and maple-sweet on the inside, with just a hint of charring at the edges. ^_^

....I prefer mine eaten. By me.

I'm quite impressed you're as versatile as you are.

you should see my sign language skillz.

Naturally. I am his superior office after all... and this office seems to invite havoc in general.

Havoc a general? Not before me!

Good decision.

hmph.

Who are you calling hulking? I'm quite curious as to how deep a hole you'll dig for yourself, here. Don't let Hawkeye manipulate you, she's sharper than she looks-- well, she looks sharp, too. But you know what I mean.

Manipulate me? Ha. She was CONFIDING in me. I don't think it was manipulative of her to tell me that she thought you-- No, nevermind, I promised.

That's bribery and extortion, I'll do no such thing. I'll just have to ask Hawkeye herself, if you refuse to talk. ^_~

Yeah, like she'll tell you. You might as well try to talk to a brick wall-- gagged blindfolded with your hands behind your back and no circle.

No, not that I'm aware of. Not yet, anyway.

Don't go looking for MY sake.

It being nearly three-thirty, and myself not having heard any thunderous sounds from your location, can I assume that we've avoided armageddon for now?

yeah, well, there's a lot of cleaning up afterwards.

-FM

Subject: Checking Up
From: <'Alphonse Elric'>
Date: Thu, December 9, 5:10 pm
To: <#Niisan>

Did you find a place to settle this morning? I hope you stayed out of the rain. It looks pretty yucky out there.

It was nice of Colonel Mustang to give us email accounts, wasn't it?

I hope you will enjoy

I hope you are enjoying

I hope you had a good lunch, niisan. I packed all the things you like.

Gosh, it takes a long time to type in this armor. Maybe next time I'll dictate a letter.

-Al