Who's that skulkin' through Lea Monde
It's some cultists and their pet blonde
Those low-slung pants and metal hands
Who's his daddy, what's his plan?

Though the knights may pray
They can't pray near enough
Guildy didn't say
that the Agent's playin' rough--

Ashley Riot
(Müllenkamp cultists: Riot!)
Riskbreaker extraordinaire!
Ashley Riot
(Crimson Blades: Riot!)
With his fanservice derriere

A messed-up funky-haired workshop fiend
Tired of watchin' that picnic scene
Tell me Sydney just what's it mean
Mental trauma, or a dream?

Peeled off his tattoo, now
Guildy wants to rule the Dark
What's a guy to do
When he's destined for the mark?

Because it's Ashley Riot
(Rosencrantz: Riot!)
Riskbreaker extraordinaire!
Ashley Riot
(Guildenstern: Riot!)
Just how did he get that hair?

(Faemdos: No more knights now
Lamkin: They're all dead to stay
Neesa: But Grissom's a zombie
Tieger: ...That's okay
Hardin: Please don't cry-y-y now
It's the only way
Cal, take the baby
Get away)

Leave it to Ashley Riot
(Callo Merlose: Riot!)
Riskbreaker extraordinaire!
Ashley Riot
(Sydney Losstarot: Riot!)
Vagrant shape-shiftin' everywhere

Ashley Riot
(Tenshi: Riot!)
Slash-fan's dream come true
Ashley Riot
(llamajoy: Riot!)
Now let's hope that he doesn't sue... 

Sydney: I think... Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are dead...