The motorcycle sputtered and purred up the road like a tubercular cat, finally gasping to a halt in front of the house at the end of the lane. The rider tugged his helmet free, unleashing waves of raven hair that shone indigo when the light hit it just so. Chromatic glass beads woven into a few minute braids caught the light as he shook out his hair, shattering sunshine into tiny rainbows. Dark eyes narrowed in puzzlement, scanning the windows. No one here to greet him. He nudged down the kickstand and swung off, glancing at the array of vehicles in the driveway.

"Hmm." Everybody was here, so where were they? They better not have decided to vent their need for surprise parties.. again. He rapped once on the door and creaked it open. "Hello? Anybody here?" He took a cautious step inside, kicking off his shoes. "Ryou?" His voice floated back to him, wary and uncertain and sounding younger than he liked. He sighed. He was nineteen for god's sakes, so why did he feel the need to tattoo that to his forehead whenever he came here?

Probably because only two people here seemed to REMEMBER that he was nineteen, not nine , his brain reminded him. And not necessarily the ones he most WANTED to realize he was an adult. "Sonofabitch," he swore softly, a habit picked up from Rowen. Rowen's profanity. He was bits and pieces of all of them. Not like any one, but parts made up to form something different. He snorted disdainfully. Should change my name to Hariel.

A noise from upstairs made him loose his moody reverie, belatedly shutting the door behind him before what insects remained in September decided to make themselves at home. He tilted his head towards the sound, glass beads chiming as his body tensed (Freeze. Listen. Wait to see what sound tells you. Sage taught him that). He crept up the stairs carefully, scanning the rooms, all of them empty. (Always check all the possibilities, Rowen said). He almost ran smack into the attic ladder.

"Gotcha." He swarmed up it, limber and silent as a skink (learned that from Sai), and poked his head in the triangular room. "Guys are you up- Rowen what in God's name are you WEARING?!?

Unfortunately, his tact- or lack thereof- came from Ryou.

Yuli blinked in confusion at Rowen's.. ensemble.

"Purple parachute pants," Sage prompted, leaning down and hauling Yuli up into the attic. "And a pink tank top, and a blue shirt with the collar UP. And I wouldn't be surprised to discover black gelly bracelets on him someplace, and the cross earring."

Rowen grinned, executing a fashion model strut. "And Hi-tops!"

Yuli regarded his long term friend, someone he had adored since childhood and had come to have a new affection (albeit unspoken and carefully hidden away) for since he got older, and carefully weighed that before speaking. "You look like a member of Kajagoogoo."

Rowen grinned in delight. "Really? Ya think so?"

Yuli nodded absently, glancing at the disarray. Ryou and Sai were head down, ass up like a pair of dumpster-diving ducks in a huge trunk, Kento was hauling down boxes and peering inside. "What ARE you doing, anyway?" He frowned at the arsenal of boxes, some sorted, some not, all labeled in hasty black marker. A great many things were being transferred to giant Tupperware bins.

"Going through our old stuff, seeing what we need to get rid of. "

Kento poked at the contents of one box, sneezed at dust, and shoved it towards Sage. "Yours."

"Figyahed we'd quit clutterin' up Mia's attic." Rowen's voice was slightly muffled, he was hauling the tank top over his head and wiggling to get out of it.

Sage wolf whistled at him. "Keep it up and I'll shove a few hundred yen down your pants."

Sai laughed musically. Rowen managed to free one middle finger to flip them off with.

"Can I get that in writing?" Sage queried, innocently. Rowen finally extracted himself from the 80's regalia and started to peel off the jeans.

"Bastards. Alla ya. "

Yuli averted his eyes. He was quite used to their affection around each other.. they were so much a part of each other that if they hadn't all been lovers it would have struck him as far more odd than that they were. He wasn't part of that, though, had always known he wasn't, and that kept him from ever saying anything. That and- He felt eyes on him, and looked up to meet Sai's gaze. Sai, the only one who ever seemed to take him for what he was, the only one who always knew what he was thinking. Yuli shrugged, looking for some distraction from Rowen's body and Sai's intuition.

Sage helpfully and inadvertently provided it. "I remember these..." He was pulling clothing from out of the box, and examined his latest find. "Club gear, circa 1989." Sage stood and shook out a pair of leather jeans in metallic bright silver, the zippers that ran the entire length of the side seams chimed with the motion. Two unzips and you could be wearing a whole lot of nothing- fast. Sage sighed. "They never got as much mileage as they ought."

"Woah, I'll say," Rowen angled around boxes to stand next to Sage. He was clad in nothing but hightops and royal blue long-leg jockeys. "Those are HOT! Why didn't you ever wear 'em?"

"I was sixteen when I got them- and got my growth spurt right after. Went from skinny waif to hulking adult overnight."

Ryou rolled his eyes. Sage had never even been close to hulking. Kento...well, Kento you could BELIVE he could toss cars around. Sage tended to be surprising when he pulled stuff like that.

Sage tossed the garment to Rowen. "I think I wore them once before they got too small. Yours, if you want them."

Rowen Regretfully shook his head, holding the jeans up to his hips. "Too short. Ya shoulda given 'em to me years ago."

"Too late now," Ryou snorted. He was disappointed, he never remembered seeing Sage in those things. He would have looked perfectly edible. "Put them in the give-away stuff, Rowen's the only one with an ass skinny enough to pour in them."

Rowen made to toss the leather jeans into one of the bins, but a soft cough stopped him.

"I'll take them.. They should fit me."

Five pairs of eyes pinned Yuli like a bug to a specimen board. He flushed uncomfortably. "Well, you all did promise to take me clubbing when I got old enough... and I need some clothes."

Ryou folded his arms and said in his best 'big brother' voice, "yes, WHEN you get old enough."

Sai smiled softly. They all blinded themselves so well. Did they really still see a child there instead of the painfully beautiful young man?

"I AM old enough, Ryou." Yuli retorted, with just a trace of smartass from a time long gone. "You threw me a party, remember?"

"No way, you are not." Kento frowned, knowing that it wasn't true. Yuli was 5'10" of consenting adult.

Yuli grinned. "Do the math."

Rowen did a quick calculation. "Fuck me silly!" he declared, on his conclusion. "You are legal, aren't you? I think I'm STILL hung over from your birthday party." He smiled ruefully, reaching out and almost touching Yuli's face. The pale fingers closed on his shoulder instead. "Sorry Kid.. It's just easy to let ourselves forget sometime."

Yuli flushed at the touch, not because he didn't want it, but because he did too much. He cleared his throat uneasily. "Well, hell, y'know, you make it sound like you're fifty years older than me or something. Six years isn't much of a difference after a certain point." His eyes flicked almost against his will to Ryou,

who was watching him with a thoughtful, calculating look, as though trying to put something in his mind into perspective.

Yuli glanced away and stood up hastily, managing to get Rowen's cool touch off his arm before he did something stupid in reaction to it, and picked up the silver jeans off the floor. "I uh.. I'm gonna go see if these fit." He was talking to the floor, and that through his bangs.

Sage felt a twinge. He could be so much like Ryou sometimes. All those years of consciously imitating him had turned into an unconsious resemblance of tone and gesture, and even physical build.

Yuli looked up and flashed Rowen a grin, screwing up his courage to fling the comment before scurrying down the ladder. "For god's sakes, Toma-nichan, put some clothes on before I'm forced to do something about it. " He escaped in a whirl of black hair before he could tell their reaction, and ducked into the relative safety of Sai's room.

Phew!

His hands shook as he smoothed out imaginary creases in the silver leather. He couldn't BELIEVE he said that, no matter how many times such thoughts zinged around in his head- usually in dark silence in his room. He kicked off his worn out jeans and tried to figure out the best way to get himself into the handed-down clubbing gear. He couldn't shake the memory of Rowen's touch or Ryou's eyes, and made himself banish the burn that started whenever he let his thoughts wander. He was going to have enough trouble putting himself into the jeans without having to deal with rampant desire getting in the way.

"You're getting bolder, Yuli," a voice said softly behind him.

Yuli tried to jump and spin all at once, but since he was entangled to his thighs in silver leather and off balance, he wound up sprawled on his face by Sai's feet. "Do you MIND?" he growled faintly. "I'm trying to get dressed."

"You have nothing I haven't seen before, luv," Sai helped him back to his feet.

"Not MINE," Yuli reminded, removing the pants to figure out strategy before trying to put them on again.

Sai tsked. "Not true. As I recall you used to insist I give you baths when you stayed over."

"B'jeezus, Sai, I Was NINE!"

Sai didn't reply, looking at Yuli glowering venomously at the jeans.

"What?" Yuli waved his arms a bit. "Why're you looking at me like that?"

Sai ignored the comment and picked up the jeans. "You have to unzip one side first." He did so and handed them to Yuli. "Put them on and I'll zip up the side for you."

Yuli grumbled but did as he was told. Sai knelt and slid the zipper up Yuli's calf, pausing to place a kiss behind one knee. Yuli shuddered, the slight touch sending fire into a tight knot between his legs. Sai was the only one of the bunch that ever kissed him, or sometimes held him, but it never went beyond that. The metal closure slid shut at the waist with a purr. Sai stood up to survey him.

"Rather tight but they look good, besides they're leather and they'll stretch. Which one of us do you want the most, Yuli?"

Yuli blinked at the sudden change of subject. "I- I don't know. It doesn't really matter, they don't even consider me-"

"Oh don't be an ass." Sai interrupted, slightly vexed. "They consider you far more than you know. Ryou looks at you with a kind of nervous hunger because he's so afraid of doing something wrong by giving you what you want, and what he wants, neither one of you has Ever been able to conceal a thing you feel, Rowen treats you like some forbidden confection that he only touches when he thinks he can get away with it, who knows about Sage since he could be thinking of tying you to a fencepost or dressing you up as a girl or god knows what before ravishing you, he never shows a thing outwardly, you know that, and Kento doesn't even let himself THINK it, because it he thinks it he'll do it. They're every one terrified of demolishing your innocence against your will so if you want one or all of them you're going to have to make it obvious you do, and how much! "

Yuli took a step back, his leather jeans creaking softly in protest. "I.. I didn't realize-"

Sai sighed. "No, you thought they were treating you like a child. Well if they are it's because they aren't sure if they can treat you as anything else." Sai smiled, and put his hands on Yuli's shoulders. "I know that you want it to be with one of us, you've told me that much. And I know you're tired of waiting around. But believe me, I've lived with and loved with this bunch for ten years, and if you want to get a point across you pretty much have to bash them in the head with it."

"I don't know how," Yuli protested, hanging his head slightly. "I 'm too subtle, I guess."

"With the exception of me, a small nuclear bomb is too subtle to get your message through. " Sai reached out to lift Yuli's chin. "Oh, love. You want them so badly, don't you."

Yuli nodded, he bit his lip to keep from crying, because he thought he just might. "So much it hurts," he whispered harshly. He folded into the welcome embrace of Sai's arms, his fingers knotting up tightly in Sai's shirt.

Sai nodded. "I know, love. I know exactly what it's like." They stood like that a long time, Sai petting Yuli's midnight hair until his breathing evened out.

"Ryou," he said at last, softly. "Ryou for the first. "

"I thought so." Sai leaned in and lightly brushed his lips against Yuli's. Yuli leaned into it, he wanted so much more than those little soft kisses, always had, but Sai always held back. "Well," Sai said briskly, squeezing Yuli's shoulders. "Tonight, then."

"to-tonight?" Yuli stammered, panic rising in a red flush to his cheeks. His hands went cold. "But- but I-"

"Well, you are sure, aren't you?" Sai nailed him down with that intense gaze of his. Yuli nodded.

"Yes, but.. but so soon.. I thought I might-"

"Opportunity knocks, kiddo." Sai winked. "My official reason for coming down here was to inform you that you have a date with us at the Millennium tonight, and you better show."

"You guys are taking me clubbing?" Yuli looked like it was going to Disneyworld. "Really?"

"No, I'm lying to you." Sai made a face. "Of course really."

"But I haven't-" Yuli gestured at the jeans, they were not the sort of thing to be worn with a torn "skate or Die" T-shirt and sneakers.

Sai stopped him with a wave. "No problem. Just call me your fairy godmother." Sai winked. "We'll get you a ballgown and a prince-" Sai rolled his eyes, "Even if with have to raid Rowen's closet for the former and chloroform the latter."

Yuli grinned. "Sai, you're the greatest." He flung his arms around Sai's neck, hugging him tightly. "I owe you forever."

"Just remember that tomorrow." Sai grinned. He liked the smell of the soft black hair and the feel of the lithe body pressed to his. "I may call that favor in."

Yuli turned his head slightly into Sai's neck. He felt good, warm and willing and strong up against him, familiar as a favorite shirt, scented like the ocean was supposed to be. "Anytime," Yuli whispered, and meant it. He kissed Sai's neck, letting his tongue taste the soft skin, the most daring thing he'd ever done with any of them. He expected Sai to gently pull away from him with a regretful smile, as he always did when Yuli had gotten too affectionate. Sai sucked in his breath, his arms going tightly around Yuli. He arched back his neck and Yuli kissed up higher, to his ear, and then down until he found the soft lips. They parted unexpectedly for him, and Yuli suddenly realized he was being kissed and really kissed, for the first time. Sai's tongue moved warm and wet into his mouth, claiming him, one hand tangled in the ebon hair, his thigh pressed up against Yuli's aching sex. Yuli whimpered. Forget what he planned. Sai could lay him down and take him now and he would have no complaints. He wanted to be touched, to be held and kissed like this and taken, wanted to give himself up to it.

Sai had more expertise in self-restraint, pulling away regretfully. He gave a rueful smile. "Ryou may have rights to your body for the first time," Sai traced Yuli's parted mouth. "but I got the first kiss."

Yuli smiled uncertainly. "I want more."

"Later for us," Sai smiled. "There's plenty to learn and we have more than enough time. Meanwhile," He said briskly, stepping back and surveying Yuli. "There's the small matter of making you irresistible tonight."

"Should I be worried?" Yuli grinned. Sai's fashion sense had improved remarkably due to ten years of living with Sage, but it was still a teasing point.

"No, you should be in the shower!" Sai gave him a playful swat across the arse. "You aren't seducing anyone with motorcycle dust on you. Leave the pants.. I've got to find SOMETHING that matches them..."

"Alright, alright." Yuli attempted to pry the pants off his body. "Uhg. Did you say 'seduce'? How am I gonna seduce ANYBODY if I can't get my pants off?" He wiggled. "Ryou in hysterical fits of laughter- at least he couldn't fight me off."

Sai tried and failed to keep from laughing. "Love, you're going about it wrong. The fly is decorative. You want them off-" He reached over and grasped a zipper in each hand. There was a loud RZZP! and Yuli peeled like a banana. "Use the side exit."

"Oh." Yuli blinked sheepishly. "Should have known Sage wouldn't buy anything that wasn't easy access."

"No, he used to get catsuits that had to have been designed by Rubix- simply to drive Rowen MAD." He chuckled. "It worked wonderfully."

Yuli frowned. "Who's Rubix?"

A frustrated line appeared between Sai's eyebrows. "Rubix. Rubix cube, you know.. the little puzzle with the colored squares?"

Yuli looked blank, the trademark 'You're talking about something from the 80's again, aren't you' expression.

Sai made an exasperated noise. "Forget it, forget it, just make me feel my age. Now go get in there and clean up or I'll start giving you baths again."

"What kind of threat is that?" Yuli smirked, but darted into the adjacent bathroom to dodge Sai's swipe at his exposed flank. "I'm goin'! I'm goin!"

"And wash your HAIR too!"

"Yeah yeah... Yes, mom." Yuli groped around for whichever bottle of shampoo came to hand first, and turned on the water.

"Mum indeed," Sai snorted, going into Rowen's room in search of something to clad Ryou's lover wannabe in. "I doubt your Mum ever wanted to swat your bum for the same reasons I do. "

Yuli came out fifteen minutes later, drippy but clean. Sai was poking around in his dresser for something; Yuli's clothes were laid out for him on Sai's ripple-patterned bedspread. The silver leather jeans, an electric blue metallic mesh tank top, and an oversized black satin shirt. Stuff Yuli never wore, but secretly always wanted to. He also discovered a pair of black combat boots that were NEVER made for combat, but with lots of metal bits to make them look like a lethal weapon, nondescript socks and- He blushed.

"Sai! What the hell is THIS for?"

Sai turned and blinked at the bit of stretchy knitted black silk dangling from Yuli's finger. "If you don't know I'm not telling you, and I don't think you should be trying to get laid if you DON'T know."

"Of course I know what it IS!" Yuli hissed, "But I have my own underwear, for god's sakes!"

"You have a pair of boxers from the Jurassic era," Sai found the hair mascara he was looking for. "Which are not only unromantic, but they'll make a line on your jeans. That won't. Go without, if you'd rather not wear it."

Yuli grouched but put the thong on anyway, having a little problem figuring out how to tuck his accoutrements inside. He wasn't used to close fitting stuff.

"Need help?"

"NO!"

"Are you sure?" Sai stepped up behind him, sliding his arms around him and kissing the back of his neck through wet hair.

"Of course I'm.. sure..." Yuli's voice faded out as a warm hand cupped him loosely, adjusting the garment and stroking him all at the same time. "oooh." He leaned his head back on Sai's shoulder, exhaling nervously. "Sai, what am I doing? I'm scared to death."

"You'll be fine. I have a plan." Yuli's abdomen was petted soothingly.

"But what if he turns me away no matter what?"

"He won't."

"What if I do something wrong?"

"It's excusable. And it's part of the first time. "

Yuli hesitated. "Will it- hurt?" he winced.

Sai smiled faintly. "Not the way you're thinking, pretty one. Not the way you're thinking it will."

Yuli absorbed this for a long moment, at last giving Sai's hand a squeeze.

"Okay," he said, offering a tremulous smile, fragile as blown glass. "Help me get ready."

The Millennium is a chrome, polished place, suited to it's name, and on that night it was particularly packed. Like most good club nights the music, crowd and lights were the real décor, anything else was just additional fluff.

Sage eyed the surging mass on the dance floor, just now getting their rhythm in synch to Taco's remix of "Puttin' on the Ritz" He put his glass of white wine to his lips, smiling at the "dressed up like a million dollar trooper" line.

Sage did not take his gaze off the dance floor, specifically not off Ryou, as Rowen came up, panting, beside him. He'd just been thrashing to the previous number, some obscure techno blend of "Devil Inside" by INXS. Sage had been watching him, then. They all moved so prettily. He liked to watch all of them dance.

"There you are," He said, holding out his glass to Rowen, and ignoring Rowen's sneer of distaste, he hated white wine. He drank it anyway, just wanting something cold and clear and wet. "Are they here yet?"

"Haven't seen 'em." Rowen set down the empty wineglass, licking his lips. That was actually good... for white wine. He liked red, if he had to drink wine at all. He followed Sage's line of sight, and smiled. "God, he can move somethin' unfair, can't he?"

"mmm." Ryou seemed to dance by instinct; he could not help but be graceful. Not as graceful as the best dancer among them though, but he wasn't-

"Sorry it took so long," Sai seemed to pop out of Sage's thoughts to appear beside him, a strange, triumphant smile lighting his face. Kento was behind him, looking thoughtful.

"About Damn time," Rowen said, completely easygoing. "You haven't missed much. Where's Cinderella?"

Sai's mouth curved up slightly, his eyes lighting with green in the shade of trouble. Kento hid his smirk in his bottle of Heineken. "Oh.. he's parking his bike. Should be coming in about- there he is now. " Sai nodded his head at the club Entrance, situated half a floor up on an open grillwork balcony.

Sage and Rowen sort of.. gaped.

"No.. No WAY," Rowen managed. "That's not-"

"Yuli?!" Even Sage's façade shattered. NOBODY should EVER look that good.

Yuli stood uncertainly against the grillwork, shifting his weight anxiously and trying to find a familiar face in the sea of people. He hadn't expected it to be so LOUD. Or dark or confusing- he was nervous as hell as it was, why couldn't he have decided to seduce Ryou by the cabin on the dock, or out in the woods or in the GARAGE, for pete's sake? Not in this MAYHEM. His black eyes shone with relief as he caught sight of Sai's arm, clad in sky blue silk, waving at him from the bar.

Thank GOD. People he knew.

He tried to keep his head up and not hunch his shoulders, but it was so hard. He felt like everybody was staring at him. Check that, he knew they were. Was there something wrong with his outfit? His hair? He KNEW he shouldn't have let Sai swish the silver and blue streaks into it.

They must think he looked like a freak. An UNDERAGE freak. Maybe he should glue his ID to his forehead or something.

"Sai," Sage managed, after closing his mouth with a snap. "What did you DO to him?"

"Nothing," Sai sang softly, eating up the reaction.

"He looks.. he's.. oh my GOD." Rowen blinked. "Daaaaamn! Why doesn't that shirt ever look that good on me?"

Yuli made his way down the stairs as they watched him, his eyes darting nervously about. The Silver jeans and blue metallic mesh seemed to be painted on his body, every fluid motion and liquid grace accentuated by the clothes. The black satin shirt was open and out, billowing a bit as he walked and making him seem to be floating. His hair was still wild but it was softer, painted through with cobalt and argent streaks, the dancing lights catching rainbow fire in the scattered beads. His lips had just the faintest sheen of silver, a light touch of shimmer along the column of his throat and collarbone, sparkling faintly on his cheekbones. He looked like he'd walked out of a hollow hill, stepped into the real world of Iron for just one night. The impression was perfected by the slight wariness in his eyes and his body, as though a loud noise would make him vanish like a ghost.

Kento leaned over and held out a napkin to Rowen. "Yer droolin."

Rowen coughed, shut his mouth, and drug a hand across his lips.

"Thanks."

Yuli arrowed his way though the crowd like a raindrop avoiding imperfections on a windowpane, and smiled tremulously as he approached the group by the bar. "Hi guys." He tried to sound casual, but his voice shot up an octave and shattered. He winced. "Um... " And didn't know what else to say. He cleared his throat, his eyes shooting to Sai, silently pleading Save Me!

Sai smiled, holding out a glass to Yuli, who didn't even ASK what was in it, he just took a drink.

Sage's eyes seemed (to Yuli) to turn him inside out, shake him, rattle him, and see what sort of tone he made, sweet or dull. Sage was, in fact, trying valiantly to say something that was complimentary and slightly flirty, but not too heavy. Yuli looked like he might break under a strong proposition. "You look wonderful, Yuli," was what he decided at last, and it must have been a good choice, because Yuli's head shot up and some of the tension left his shoulders.

"You.. you really think so, Sage?"

"Why ask me?" Sage nodded at the bar across from them. "Ask them."

Yuli turned slowly to notice more than a few gazes directed at him, implying everything from awe to desire to hope to open lust.

"They're.. looking at me?"

"And jealous of us," Kento gave his best reassuring grin to Yuli. Sai had briefed him; he knew what was (hopefully) going down tonight. "because we're talking to you and they aren't."

Yuli blushed and suddenly became intensely interested in the toes of his boots. "Oh."

A cool touch on his chin lifted his head, and he found himself the closest he'd ever been to Rowen's carribean starlight eyes. "Ya realize," he murmured, and Yuli's heart seemed to pound out of his chest at the warmth of Rowen's breath on his lips, "that I'll never be able to wear that outfit again and do it justice."

Then it wasn't just Rowen's breath on his lips. Yuli made himself not pass out; he was just being kissed, that was All. Just Rowen, just kissing him, doot dee doo, no big dea- !!

Rowen's tongue slid over the silver tinted lips, and then between them. One strong arm snaked out to grasp Yuli's waist before he swayed and fell. Yuli's brain was in SHOCK. Rowen had never kissed him, and his kisses were so much DIFFERENT than Sai's, more distant and fierce but intimate at the same time, like the stars.

Yuli knew he would never belong to himself again, he would always be theirs, and most of all he didn't care. It was, after all, all he'd ever wanted.

Rowen pulled away sooner than Yuli would have liked, and a secret hung in his smirk. His mouth held traces of silver now too. "Ryou's on the dance floor," was all he said.

Yuli bit his lower lip, tasting Rowen, and nodded. "Okay," he managed. He didn't bother to ask how Rowen knew; he'd stopped asking years ago. He glanced nervously to the others, Sage had an approving look in his one showing violet eye, Sai nodded once, and Kento was grinning openly.

"Okay," he said again, this time to himself, turned on his heel, and strode out into the musical melee to meet the destiny he was choosing.

Preferably without having to rush to the bathroom and throw up on the way...

The crowd seemed to move apart for him like beads of mercury, heavy but swift. He rubbed a cold hand against his thigh, trying not to chew his lip and eat off all the makeup. He focused on what Sai had told him, held onto it like a lifeline.

"You know he wants you. Always remember that, that you can do no wrong, and that he can't lie to you, he can't lie to himself. Make him realize how much he wants to be with you. Make him show you how much you're desired."

Yuli could see Ryou now, and he froze in place, unable to go another step. He couldn't do this. God he couldn't move. The music was shifting, the movement of the crowd slowed. The beat was suddenly the same as his heartbeat, dark and warm and what Yuli had always thought sexy would be if put to music. Bodies pressed against his, and Ryou was dancing again, hands held over his head, eyes shut, hips swaying slowly, his lips moving to the words.

Yuli lowered his eyebrows, something clicking into place inside him. If you don't do this now, he told himself, you will never be able to do anything as long as you live.

He ignored now the fingertips brushing across his shoulders and hips, the hungry glances following his every move. They were nothing; they were not his goal. Ryou, turned away from him slightly, filled his vision. Every fold of the deep red velvet shirt, the way the black jeans moved as his thighs flexed beneath the fabric, the strands of hair that had escaped his ponytail and lay like ebony cobwebs across his flushed cheek: all engraved themselves on Yuli's mind. He was never going to forget this, no matter what happened or how many hours lay between now and his death, he would always be able to see Ryou dancing as though only for him, waiting for nothing more than a touch to go from friend to lover.

"Mine," Yuli breathed to himself, and his voice did not falter or shake. "and I will be yours before sunrise."

There was no other option.

Ryou, eyes still shut and in his own world, thought nothing of the warm body that pressed up against him. In the crush of the dancers the only way to dance was with someone touching you. It didn't matter. He could have been alone out here. He loved this song, loved the motion of it, the way the lyrics seemed to be growled. It was eerie and dark and he thought he would like to make love to someone to it. He was thinking about that actually, letting himself warm to the way the beat was like a slow thrust of hips, how soft whispers and gasps would sound overlaid on the music. His mouth curved up in a private smile. The person behind him pressed a little more firmly against his back, an arm curved around his waist. A familiar scent and Ryou's faint psychic ability, though not near as potent as Sage's or Sai's, let him know that this was someone he knew well, if not precisely who.

Must be one of the guys, he thought distantly, lost in the seduction of music. It wouldn't be the first time one or more of them had sensed his hunger and decided to ease the ache for him. His smile turned into a soft sigh, the body behind his moving in perfect unison, desire pressed against his hip. He laid a hand over the arm around his waist, pushing back a little into the embrace. A left arm joined the right already encircling him, a pair of warm lips kissed his throat.

"mmm." Sai, maybe? Sai always went for the throat. Had Ryou been bothering to think (which he most certainly was not), he would have realized that Sai was not so tall, and had it been Sai the cloth under his palm would be silk, not cool satin. He tilted his head back, seeking a kiss.

Yuli looked down at Ryou oblivious in his arms, knowing he'd been mistaken for one of the others, but not caring. By the time Ryou realized it would be far too late. He knew Ryou was waiting to be kissed, but he had to just gaze at him for a moment. He was so beautiful and so impossibly close, his throat and collarbone linear and perfect encircled by red velvet, the arched inky brows and feathered lashes lying like shadows on the cappuccino colored skin, his lips slightly parted and holding twilight invitingly between them. Yuli brought up one hand to brush it across the smooth cheek, then bent his head and carefully kissed Ryou. He took his time over the warm lips, before daring the forbidden and easing part of himself into Ryou.

Yuli had thought he would need to rely on what Rowen and Sai had done when they kissed him, but he was surprised to discover how instinctive it was, how Ryou's mouth tugged gently at his tongue and encouraged him to explore deeper, to kiss him harder. One hand grasped Yuli's wrist and guided his hand between Ryou's legs, to the aching sex constrained by black denim. Yuli's fingers closed around Ryou and he moaned softly into the kiss, reaching behind him and between them to feel tense heat outlined in butterfly-soft leather. Oh, god... was all Yuli could think.

I don't believe you'd like it, you wouldn't like it here-
There ain't no entertainment, and the judgements are severe.
The Maestro says it's Mozart: but it sounds like bubble gum
When you're waiting for the miracle- for the miracle to come...

Violins slipped into the music, a bittersweet contrast against the synthesizers.

So sweet, Ryou thought. Hair was brushing his cheek, and that had to mean Sage or Rowen's bangs, maybe, Sai's or Kento's hair wasn't long enough to tease his collarbone. But neither Rowen nor Sage kissed like this, unless for some sort of effect or specific emotion. Both of them were musically sensitive, they would never kiss shyly in the wake of such an openly sexual song. A rising need to know who was kissing him tried to distract Ryou from the intense contact or the fingers almost curiously kneading his burning sex, but thinking was so hard to do... a pair of fingers had brushed against his nipple and was teasing it gently through the velvet, making him want to fall down and submit to his lover.

Leather and need under his hand...who was wearing leather tonight? Sage?

He seemed to picture Sage holding a pair of leather jeans, but he had given those to-

The song started to fade out.

Yuli felt Ryou gasp into his mouth, felt his whole body stiffen, and he knew his temporary anonymity was over. Ryou pulled his mouth from Yuli's, and would have gone further, but the arms around him tightened, and refused to let him go.

Yuli winced internally at the cold rage in Ryou's eyes, but he knew it wasn't aimed at him, Ryou was mad at himself.

"What the HELL do you-"

"No," Yuli snapped back, and believe it or not Ryou actually shut up. "No more of this bullshit, Ryou. You know that you want me. I know I want you. But if you can look me in the eye and tell me you don't then I'll walk away and never mention it again." Yuli found himself angry. No, past angry. He was downright pissed. How DARE Ryou presume to think for him, to know what was best. He wasn't a child.

"But you-" Ryou began, ready to rattle off the excuses he knew so well.

"Yes or No, Ryou!" their voices were not loud, but Yuli's wrath came through in a hiss, the black flame in his eyes more than a match for Ryou's. He had four elements and a desperate need backing him up.

"That's all. Yes or No." His eyes narrowed. "Go ahead. Lie. Say you don't want to touch me again. Say you don't want to be inside me." Yuli didn't gage the words now, they were something he'd wanted to say for so long. He didn't falter on them. "Say that you do, and I'm yours. This," he growled, pressing his hips violently against Ryou's thigh, his sex hard against Ryou, "Is yours." His voice softened, and he removed the hand clamped on his forearm, laying it over his furiously pounding heart. "This- is yours. "

Then he waited. He was too scared to pray. He wasn't even aware he was breathing. He was just waiting for the devastation to strike.

"Yuli-"

"Yes or no, Ryou, please," It was a plea this time, small and desperate. "Please."

Ryou looked down at his hand, palm against the blue tight fabric, the flutter of Yuli's soul beneath it. He didn't deserve this, no matter what he had done, no one would ever be worthy of such innocent ferocity.

His throat tightened, but he forced the word out in a barely audible whisper.

"Hai."

Gods forgive him, but the only truth was yes.

Most people in the club thought the sudden flare of red was just a neat lighting effect, and most of them also missed the soft whoosh of air rushing in to fill a vacuum. None of them realized that the pair of beautiful boys that had been there had vanished in the flash of light.

Rowen hesitated in the act of putting his glass to his lips, Ryou momentarily filling his mind. He nodded once, even though the person he was communicating with could not visually see him.

"Of course I will." He set down the glass, turned to the others who had been watching the drama play out below them, feeling Ryou's shift of emotions.

"Ryou wants me to be his second. Gotta go."

"Take care of them both," Sai smiled.

"I will." He stopped to kiss Sage, and then stepped into the shadows and was gone.

Scarlet radiance welled up in Ryou's room like heart's blood from a sword wound, and then ebbed as though some miraculous healing had occurred, leaving Ryou and Yuli in its wake. They were entwined in each other's arms, lips never parting, not even when they had gone from matter to energy and then back again.

Ryou, once his decision had been made, became a juggernaut of long leashed-in desire, kissing the mouth that had dared to challenge him, leaving the faintly silvered lips swollen from the unused to force. His right hand was tangled almost roughly in Yuli's bead and braid adorned hair, backing him up until their thighs were flush with Ryou's never made bed. It was only then that Ryou forced himself to pull away from the eager naive kiss.

He stared a long time at Yuli's face, trying to calm his breathing. Yuli was not Sage or Rowen or Sai or Kento, not knowledgeable about any of this and certainly deserving more than Ryou's usual flash in the night lovemaking. So if Ryou had to grit his teeth and take his time, so be it. That was the price for having, the payment for the first time. It was also why he had asked Rowen to be there, he could hold Ryou in check and would make sure he and Yuli sated each other, without having to indulge himself.

"Is something wrong?" Yuli asked, his eyebrows lowering in concern, afraid he had done something wrong, unable to read the intense expression.

Ryou didn't answer for a long moment, reaching out to touch the delicate features. "When did you change?" he asked softly, a note of wonder creeping into his tone. Surely this wasn't the child that had watched him with such worship. No, not this unearthly, sensual creature.

It wasn't possible. "I must have missed it somewhere? When did I stop looking after you and start longing for you?"

Yuli smiled enigmatically, for a second Ryou felt as though he himself was the younger of the pair. "Does it matter?" Yuli put one knee on the bed, and tugged at Ryou's wrist in a confusingly familiar gesture. So many phrases used to accompany it.

:Ryou, come look at this!:

:You can do it, Ryou! Fight them!:

:Can I go with you? Pleease?:

:It's not FAIR, Ryou! Kento said he would!:

:You guys are my best friends always, Right? Right, Ryou?:

"Love me."

Ryou jumped, startled. The phantom adolescent treble in his mind's ear was now a purring tangible baritone.

"Please." Yuli reached up, his eyes on Ryou's face, and pulled the red shirt out of the jeans. His hands slipped up underneath it, cool against his burning skin, smoothing taut muscles and moving around to touch his back, long brown fingers trailing up his spine. He leaned up on his knees and pressed a kiss against Ryou's cheekbone. Ryou felt the hot motion of a tongue against his skin. "Please."

Ryou very carefully reached behind him and pulled Yuli's hands away, flashing a wink at the younger man who took it for a sign of rejection, and brushed the black satin shirt off of Yuli's shoulders. It puddled around his wrists and hips, trapping his hands as Ryou bent and kissed him, then moved his mouth to Yuli's collarbone.

Yuli exhaled, in relief that he was not being pushed away and in sudden sensation as one nipple was captured through the slick fabric of his top, tugged at and tortured by an expert tongue. Ryou's hands slid over the curved tightness of Yuli's shoulders, grasping the tank top by the hem and pulling it over his lover's head, taking the satin shirt with it. He flung the wadded garments to the floor and removed his own shirt, pulling Yuli up against him and holding him briefly in a tight embrace, cherishing the feel of the body against his. Yuli sighed in lost emotion, burying his face in Ryou's neck, breathing in his scent. He wondered if lovemaking was always like this, because if it was then he was up for it whenever slots were open. It was so comfortable, to feel Ryou against him and to be touched, skilled hands sliding down his sides and-

Ryou chuckled slightly evilly.

Yuli blinked. "What's so fu-"

RZZZZZZP!!

"Eeep!" Yuli had forgotten about the mechanics of his clothing, and shivered in the sudden draft. "Ryou! What are you DOING?"

Ryou snickered again. "What you asked me to." He glanced at Yuli, who had first paled beneath his tan, then turned crimson. Ryou's hand reached between Yuli's shaking thighs, gently running his fingers over the cloth-captured sex.

"Are you scared?" He asked softly, kissing a path across Yuli's shoulder.

"Yes," Yuli trembled back, seeming to have a problem getting enough oxygen into his lungs. He was hard as it was, but Ryou touching him seemed to send fire clean to his knees and the pit of his stomach.

"Do you want me to stop?" Ryou's touch stilled, He locked gazes with Yuli.

Yuli's tongue flashed out over his suddenly dry lips, he shook his head. "No," he whispered. He wasn't sure what he should do.. should he be on his back or something? He started to ease back against the pillows, but Ryou's touch moving beneath stretchy fabric to pet him made him freeze where he was, captive under that first intimacy.

Breathe. Just Breathe. Even if you can't, pretend you can.

Air flowing over his body, the material was gone. Damn you Sai, Yuli thought dimly, and damn me for not noticing those had snaps on the sides. Ryou was kissing his stomach now, and Yuli made himself look, made himself memorize the mouth making love to his navel. He tried to tear his eyes away from the lips kissing closer and closer to his aching sex, fearing the combination of sight and touch would undo him.

Ryou's mouth opened-

"Unnhh....GOD, Ryou..."

-And closed, taking and keeping Yuli, who couldn't hold himself up anymore, the wet heat on him turning his muscles to water. He was caught inexplicably before he fell an inch, his rescuer draping one of Yuli's arms around his neck to hold him up.

"Close ya eyes, Yuli," Rowen advised, smoothing back the black hair. Yuli twitched slightly on Rowen's shoulder, closing his eyes and letting Ryou do as he had been requested.

~Where have YOU been?~ Ryou's smug demand rang in Rowen's head.

~Obviously not where YOU have,~ Rowen returned, his smirks even more devastating mentally. ~Excuse me but I had ta GET some things, Ryou. You did ask me to be the voice of reason, and somebody's gotta consider Yuli he'a.~

~I AM considering him, at great length,~ Ryou shot back with a self-satisfied tone, and in fact an audible wet noise that made Yuli cry out softly. ~as I THINK would be obvious.~

~Quite prettily obvious,~ Rowen agreed, petting Yuli's hair some more and trying to soothe him as he whimpered helplessly. ~Ya make that some kinda art form, Ryou.~

~Good god don't tell Seiji. He'll have me in a museum.~

~Yah, his PRIVATE one.~

~I think his privates are exactly what he would be considering!~

Yuli shook slightly, too tense to writhe, too inexperienced to know that tensing up would only drain you more. All he could think about (if think is a term that could be applied to him) was that this was Ryou doing this, Ryou doing this unbelievably personal and intense thing, to actually take Yuli in his mouth and ohgod do THAT... over and over and over and GOD.

He actually didn't feel the fingers for a moment, but when he did his eyes shot wide open, turning his head in an attempt to look at Rowen.

"what're you... ohh...."

"Trust me, Yuli," Rowen replied, and kissed him as his fingers pushed inside. Yuli jerked against the invasion, shoving himself harder into Ryou's mouth. He couldn't go back into the darkness, his eyes glassy and round as Rowen slid his artificially slippery fingers in deep, and then back out again.

So fast, Rowen thought, placing his other hand against Yuli's chest. His heart's going so fast- like a scared sparrow.

"Does this hurt, Yuli?" Rowen asked, carefully moving in and out, stroking some dormant and previously contentedly anonymous part of him that was now screaming for more.

"No," Yuli panted, ready to fly apart at the seams. His skin felt too tight. "Not like I thought it would...ohgod not like I thought it would."

Rowen had taken his fingers away, and now it was something Else that moved into him, warm and slick and just big enough to stretch but not to hurt.

"Unnnnnn!"

"Say stop if ya want, Yuli."

"Kiss me. I'll scream if you don't kiss me-" Yuli was crying helplessly, but not from physical pain. It was the overwhelmingness of the sensation, that's what Sai had meant: it hurt his soul to realize what was being done to him, and by whom. The unbearable pressure was torture, the penetration and warm wet pleasure was overloading every circuit he ever possessed.

Rowen's mouth came down hard on his, the instrument pushing hard in and out of him, finding that hidden place every time, Ryou's mouth loosing any sense of patience as the heat turned molten and he was lashed by a violent tongue. No one could take this- no one.

Yuli certainly couldn't. He didn't scream, or cry out, in fact his reaction was the subtlest of the evening, just a soft gasp and a shudder as Ryou took everything he was into himself.

Yuli didn't hear the barely audible click behind him, but he did feel the gentle flow seem to melt him from within as something seeped into him. Somewhere he realized what the slick liquid was for, but now there was nothing but languor in his limbs, as though everything he had had been pulled out of him in that one burst of pleasure.

He was emptied carefully, Rowen kissing his temple and laying him back on the disarray of the bed. Ryou sat back on his heels and drug his hand over his mouth, breathing heavily. He watched as Rowen unzipped Yuli's jeans the rest of the way, pulling off the combat boots and spreading his tangled hair over the pillow. Yuli was half awake as he did so, time shifting in his head.

"But I don' WANNA go to bed, Rowen," he had protested. They'd only gotten in two hours of stargazing, and Yuli wanted to see the moon rise. "M'not sleepy..."

"Yes ya are."

"No'm not..." Hands were removing his t-shirt and bundling him first into pj's, then into his sleeping bag. He wasn't tired, really he wasn't. His head just felt heavy, that was all, he'd just close his eyes for a minute, then he'd get up to watch the moon rise with Rowen, with his Toma. Tomorrow they were walking

back to meet Mia and go home- he'd even mailed her a letter about their stargazing trip.

"Sweet dreams, Yuli."

"Mmm?" Yuli clawed his way back into consciousness, past distant years and summers gone. "Ryou?"

"I'm right here."

So THAT was the warm form behind him, holding him. Ryou had lost his jeans while Yuli napped, and was twined around his body, nuzzling his ear.

"I think.. I think I was dreaming." He sat up. "Where's Rowen?"

"He left."

"Oh." Yuli's face fell. "Did I do something Wrong?" He turned upset eyes to Ryou. "I didn't MEAN to fall asleep, Ryou, really I didn't. Oh Damn and he probably wanted to-"

"Hush." Ryou sat up as well, grinning. "I thought I was a spaz at nineteen."

Ryou let Yuli sink, sniffling, back into his arms. He ruffled his hair. "Rowen's no more upset at you than I am. And I damn sure aren't. He was here for a specific reason, he did it, he left. Now he's Sage's problem." Ryou grinned. "C'mon. Smile for me. You're making me think I've lost my touch."

Yuli smiled tentatively, then, recalling what Ryou was referring to, blushed outright. "Oh. OH! " He curled up into a ball on his side. "Oh, GOD." Yuli giggled in embarrassment. "I don't BELIEVE-"

"Believe it. First time with me, Rowen and Sage, we all stopped, blinked at each other, and burst out laughing at the sheer insanity of it all."

Yuli smiled, still cuddled in the sheet facing away from Ryou, partly out of belated modesty. "Was it nice?"

"Mmmmmm." Ryou flopped into the pillows and grinned. "I was incapable of thought for at least four days. If Talpa wanted to take over the world, he should have waited till some morning after we'd all got laid."

Snicker. "Couldn't remember your armor call?"

"Couldn't rember my NAME."

"It was that word Rowen was screaming over and over, while you had your face between his legs."

"Oh.. yeah..." Blink. "WAITAMINUTE!! How'd YOU know about-?"

"oops." Yuli curled up into a ball and then winced, realizing his chance at covering his mistake was gone. "I'm screwed!"

"Not before I get out of you what you saw, you aren't!" Ryou was between laughter and rage. He decided on laughter. "Were you SPYING on us, you little spore?"

Yuli's whimper wasn't near as terrified as it ought to have been. "I didn't MEAN to! YOU should learn not to have at it in the middle of the damn woods! How was I supposed to know I was in a sex zone?"

"How old were you?" Ryou demanded.

"Sixteen," Yuli shot back, adding mentally, and I damn near came in my pants.

"And you WATCHED?"

"Weelllllllll... " Yuli tucked his face into the crook of his elbow. "you're pretty. And I knew that, after seeing you-" Yuli stared at nothing, unconsciously reaching up to fidget with one of the beaded strands of hair. "that to be yours- all of yours- was all I wanted." He regarded the beads thoughtfully. He'd put them in immediately afterwards. An emblem. Theirs whenever they chose to take.

Ryou, touched, slowly lowered the pillow he had been about the whap Yuli's adorably bare ass with. "Here we were, trying to broaden your horizons without corrupting you."

"You corrupted my horizons, and I thank you for it." Yuli glanced over at Ryou, leaning on his elbow and grinning, naked, aroused, and completely at ease. "Damn," he added, softly.

"Can't believe you watched," Ryou rolled Yuli over onto his back, and kissed his forehead. "So much for not robbing you of your innocence."

Yuli let his eyes travel down Ryou's body, then up again. "Well," he said, softy, naively seductive. "are you going to finish the job or do you have to, as usual, call in your friends for assistance?" The edged smile was a challenge, but it covered nerves.

Ryou was on top of him without warning, pressing Yuli down into the mattress. "I can take you by myself," he growled, and Ryou's knees spread Yuli's legs.

Yuli regarded him with fascination. It was like waiting to see if a tiger was going to pounce or turn away. "I'd give anything to have you touch me again," he murmured, feeling the fear mixed with desire once more. The desire was so much stronger this time.

Ryou smiled. "You don't have to. You just have to ask."

"Touch me."

Ryou did. Yuli arched, gasping, the warmth starting again. "You can do anything," he whispered. "Anything you want."

"This is what I want."

Yuli felt him, right there, and was terrified suddenly. "Ryou... I-"

"You can say no, Yuli. You can always say no."

Yuli shook his head, remembering Rowen's careful ministrations, knowing it was going to be as easy now as it would ever be. "Now, Ryou. If not now, never." He held Ryou's face in his hands. "Make me yours."

Ryou lifted the long legs around him, and Yuli felt the first push. His whole body flinched involuntarily.

"Hold still," Ryou managed. This wasn't going to be easy, and Ryou hadn't done this before, not with a boy who'd never been taken. He was so scared of hurting him, and not necessarily his body. "Just-

"ummm-"

"...hold...."

"Yes, Ryou-"

"...Still...."

"Ah!"

Only a moment of waiting was all Ryou could stand in that tightness, burning like August sunlight on rain-soaked velvet. Yuli certainly didn't act bereft, bucking underneath him, and alternately crying and screaming for more, becoming now what he had wanted to be for so long.

A lover.

And that place within him couldn't agree more, that was what was making him scream, making him raise his hips to meet each new thrust, that made his sex pressed against Ryou's abdomen jerk and spill his release without ever being graced by Ryou's hand.

But it was his heart that coerced the words, as Ryou groaned and pushed in hard, his face agonizingly beautiful as he released.

"Ryou, dai suki da." Yuli clutched at him tightly, Ryou exploding wetly deep within him in absolute perfection. " I love you." He kissed Ryou, as their bodies separated and Yuli felt himself loosing consciousness again. "I love you all."

Hours passed like butterfly years in darkness as Yuli slept. Ryou, oddly enough, couldn't. His thoughts jumbled. He couldn't place what Yuli was to him. He loved him, he was as in love with him as he was with the others, and with Mia, but something did and always would, hold him apart. Ryou finally arrived at the conclusion that he didn't mind. Yuli was just Yuli, and that was all. He frowned at his hands, realizing he'd braided a small strand of hair as he thought.

Yuli stirred in his sleep, beads chiming.

Ryou's lips quirked up at the aptness of it all, and selected one of Yuli's braids with a red bead and undid the band, removing the trinket. He regarded the shard of broken fire a moment before he slid the bead on his new braid, and tied it off.

"And so I belong to you, too."

They slept.

A month passed, and a dark blue bead vanished from Yuli's hair to relocate in Rowen's azure locks.

Three more weeks, and a green one followed suit, its glitter almost lost in a swirl of soft gold hair.

Twenty-three days, and an orange one had somehow come to be entwined in purple-black strands, sparkling like a smug armor-orb.

Christmas Eve, Sai went to bed with his hair unadorned. Christmas morning, there was a bright blue bead braided into the auburn hair.

No comment was ever made on the emblems.

Not VERBALLY, anyway.....